Who is Deadliest?
by warriorswordsman7
Summary: Dante vs Kratos who would win? The question that has bothered fans for so long is going to be solved Deadliest Warrior style.  This is kind of a parody if you can call it that  of my favorite show, Deadliest Warrior.
1. WHO IS DEADLIEST?

**A/N: This is a parody of my favorite show Deadliest Warrior. I don't own DMC, GoW, or Deadliest Warrior. Let's see what happens when Kratos Faces Dante, who will be the Deadliest Warrior?**

The following battle scenarios are designed to test the lethal power of real warriors and their weapons.

These tests are executed by and weapons experts and should not be imitated.

_Dante__, Half human, half demon devil hunter! __Kratos,__ Vengeful warrior and former God of War! WHO. IS. DEADLIEST? To find out, we're testing history's most lethal weapons. Using 21__st__ century science, we'll see what happens when the two warriors go toe to toe. NO RULES, NO SAFETY, NO MERCY! It's a duel to the death, to decide who is…..THE DEADLIEST WARRIOR!_

_Welcome to the fight club. We've gathered scientists, trauma doctors, and weapons experts to help answer the question, who would win in a battle between Dante, and Kratos?_

_Biomedical engineer, Geoff Desmolin, will be testing the lethality of theses warrior's weapons. _ "I've set up tests that are meant to show exactly what'll be how lethal theses weapons are. I'm gonna have fun here because, for the first time, we'll be testing supernatural warfare!" Geoff said. _Medical expert, Armand Dorian, will tell what damage the weapons do. _"I'm gonna tell you weather or not it's going to kill, if they're facing any injury, and weather or not they'll be able to fight back." Armand said. _Computer wiz, Max Geiger, will input the results into the computer. It's all to create a battle between that will decide who is the deadliest warrior? _"I'm gonna be inputting data from the various tests using a computer engine from the U.K. known as Slitherine strategies. These warriors have never met but today they'll meet in this computer."_ The simulator will generate a true to life, fight to the death. The winner will be, the __**deadliest warrior.**_

_Because the tools the warriors use are person specific, the two warriors will be here to conduct the tests. _

_Former god of war, warriors of Sparta, and vengeful killer, Kratos. Kratos has fought against beasts of every kind, conquered nations, and slaughtered gods! _"I am the rightful god of war! This computer knows it, the world knows, and Zeus shall soon find out!" Said Kratos pridefully.

_Also representing Kratos, Athena, goddess of war. Athena has helped Kratos throughout his quest for vengeance and has faced his brutality first hand! _"Kratos is a powerful warrior, he is a capable fighter, no one has ever defeated him, and no one ever will." Said Athena

_Devil hunter and a son of Sparda, Dante has battled many demonic entities, defeated the ruler of the underworld, and even battled his own flesh and blood. _"What are ya' kidding me? Look, I don't need a computer to tell me that I'm the deadliest warrior."

_Representing Dante: Lady. Lady fought against and alongside Dante. A fellow devil hunter, she has faced the same opponents that he has. _"God of war? Dante killed the god of hell, and that's more than the god of war can even hope to be. Dante will own Kratos and then laugh about it later." Lady said.

"I have to give it to Kratos; he's stronger, tougher, and more endurent than Dante." Geoff said.

"I'm giving my initial edge to Dante; he's quicker, better equipped, and has proven himself more often." Said Max.

_Dante's demon slaying sword is known as: Rebellion, a keepsake of his father, imbued with magical properties._

"This is rebellion, my trademark sword." Dante said, "As you can see, it's very large, it's very powerful and is very useful when you want to dispose of a few demons." "Woah, now this in heavy!" Geoff said while handling it. "It's purely designed for the art of demon slaying, but that doesn't mean it's can't kill former gods too. It's very versatile, I can throw it and it'll come back to me, I can send an enemy flying, I can even use it's magical properties and my surroundings to make a shockwave" "Well, if you see here Dante, we have three pig carcasses, the closest thing to human flesh and bone. We're gonna test the cutting power of that sword of yours." Dante got into position and Geoff said, "Alright, high speed's up and arms! You ready?" "Ready as I'll ever be!" "ALRIGHT 3, 2, 1, SLASH EM' UP!" Dante the proceeded to slash and cut the pig carcasses using many of his best moves. _Dante cut through them all in under a_ _minute. _"Well, it doesn't take a doctor to tell that this weapon did its job, I mean, you basically annihilated the pigs here." Armand said. "The thing here is that some of this damage is due to force, as you can see in the high speed footage, the blade came down and went through the pig, but as you see, as it goes through, it drives it back." "Well, why we can say is that it has lots of damage and lots of power, but you said that you can throw that blade, and I wanna see that tested." Said Max. "Then let's do it." Geoff replied.

"Okay Dante, we have a pig carcass attached to a target, your gonna throw your sword so that we can see exactly how much speed it has going and coming back and the accuracy of the weapon." Dante got into position and Geoff said, "OKAY! 3, 2, 1 GO!" Dante threw the blade at the target and it pierced right through the pig and the wooden target, suddenly, it flew right back to him and he caught the handle, ever so casually. The guys were amazed by the sheer force delivered by the blade, not to mention the accuracy. "Nice man! You went right through the pig AND the wood!" Said Geoff. "Well, as you can see, when it went out of the body, it span, causing more damage to the flesh and tissue." Said Armand, "What I love is that Dante can catch it perfectly and right on time when it comes back!" _But Kratos and Athena are not impressed. _"The problem is that you had to commit both hands and use force to use this weapon effectively. If you miss, I can counter you easily!" Said Kratos. "He was still fast while using such a heavy blade and it he still has versatility!" Lady replied. Max came and said, "Well, this can be shown as a great example of Dante's slick style, and power." "Well, I have two weapons, which have versatility, range, and power, all in one."

_Coming up, Kratos slices and dices with his own powerful blades. DANTE…..KRATOS…who will be, the DEADLIEST WARRIOR?_

**A/N: Well, that's the first chapter, tell me what you think and who YOU think is the deadliest warrior! There's a poll at my profile, and I want you to vote to decide who wins. So, think hard and think well, your vote is deciding my story's ending so pleeeaaaasssseee VOTE!**


	2. Next test

**A/N: The second chapter. Now, let's continue to find out WHO IS DEADLIEST? This chapter is longer than the last, just to tell ya.**

_Back at the fight club, we're comparing two of the greatest warriors known to video games. Dante showed the power of his Rebellion and now Kratos is going to show the power of his weapons. The Blades of Exile: two chained blades that have range and power for all purpose combat! _

"These are the Blades of Exile." Said Kratos, "They're my main weapons and I can do all sorts of gruesome thing to my enemies….especially YOU Zeus!" "I gave them to him after the other ones broke. They have the greatest range of any melee weapon, they have power, and Kratos has more importantly, skill with these weapons." Said Athena, "While most warriors would fail with theses weapons as the difficulty of the weapons is extremely high, Kratos uses these with amazing skill. To control these blades while they are attached to chains is no small feat."

They set up a gel torso and Geoff said, "Same organs 'n stuff as human flesh and bone. You're gonna attack that thing with the default range of the blades so that we can see the power of the blades themselves."

Kratos stood in his signature combat position, ready to kill. "Alright Kratos are to ready?" Said Geoff. "Death to Olympus!" "THREE, TWO, ONE! GO!"

Kratos slashed and sliced the gel torso with unseen brutality. He grabbed it and repeatedly stabbed it; he cut the head off, chopped both arms off and kicked it to the floor._ Stunning results from a deadly warrior._

"Holy crap!" Said Max. "We've never seen brutality like that on this show! The high-speed footage is crazy!" "Well, you don't need a doctor to tell that this guy is dead." Said Armand, "He was dead at the first strike, but wow, just how quickly the head came off, and the constant stabbing and all that. Blades of that size going into your abdomen repeatedly would be extremely painful if the person isn't already dead." "I don't even use them like that often." "Are you serious? You don't even do that often? You usually use the chains? Now THAT I've gotta see!" Said Geoff.

They went outside and there were pig carcasses hung up. "Okay Kratos we have five pig carcasses. I want you to kill these guys at range to show just what those blades can do at long range." "This is nothing; I can fight a hundred soldiers with these."

"Ready Kratos?" "They shall DIE!" "Okay 3! 2! 1! Get 'em!" Kratos flung the blades and slashed with the blades. He used many of his chained combos and techniques. They were in pure amazement at what he just did. "Okay well….let's see." Said Armand, "Well it appears that the blades did their job! They cut through the pigs and even burned them!" "My blades are fiery when swung by chain." "Well, that's certainly an added bonus. These are chopped and cut up in so many ways that it's hard to tell which one was your first strike. The amazing part here is the accuracy. There's no sign of any accidents here and to be so skilled with weapons like those is amazing."

_But team Dante is not impressed._ "Look at the size of those blades." Said Dante, "With blades that short I'd kill you before you'd even get the first strike." "And besides. Said Lady, "You can see that he still has to close distance and by the time he does that he'd be dead." "A single sword swipe wouldn't be enough to kill Kratos." Said Athena, "He's been through way more than you average war. He's battles the forces of Ares, Hades, OLYMPUS and even faced the gods themselves, and he's defeat every challenge that stood before him."

_So who will get the edge? Rebellion or the Blades of Exile?_

"This is a tough one. I liked to see all of Dante's tricks and abilities with rebellion, but the versatility and range of the Blades was just phenomenal." Said Geoff. "And even if you close that distance, you're in range for some serious brutality." Said Armand. "So edge Blades." Said Max. "Edge Blades."

_The edge goes to Kratos' blade of exile!_

_But team Dante remains unfazed. _"Kratos is just like the demons that I kill on a daily basis. I fought demons just like him while eating pizza. He's no challenge for me, and he's gonna see just what I can do at long range, with Ebony….and…Ivory." Said Dante.

"I've killed gods tougher than him. He's going to be no more than a Minotaur to me."

_Coming up: Long range weapons, Ancient vs Modern, who will be the Deadliest Warrior?_

_**Commercials….commercials…commercials…..commercials…. commercials**_

_***Deadliest warrior insignia thingy shows up* dun, dun, dun, dun, DUN!**_

_Dante…Kratos….who is deadliest?_

_Dante brings to the game: _

_Rebellion_

_Ebony & Ivory_

_Beowulf gauntlets and greaves_

_And Sparda_

_Kratos comes with his own deadly arsenal:_

_The Blades of Exile_

_Apollo's Bow_

_Nemean Cestus_

_And The Blade of Olympus_

_We've seen Kratos and Dante's mid range main tools of death and now, we're going to see how deadly they are at long range._

"Say hello to Ebony & Ivory!" Said Dante, "These are my signature guns, and don't let the size fool you, they are extremely deadly. I can do lot's of stuff with these, I can even charge energy for an even more powerful attack. The best part is, unlike normal guns, these never run out of ammo." Said Dante. "He's a great shot, trust me." Said Lady. "Unlimited ammo? That's beyond a step up." Said Geoff. "Let's test it out." Said Max.

They went to a shooting range with many targets to shoot. "Okay Dante, we've got targets all around, and since you never run out of ammo I want to see you get all of these targets in a matter of two minutes! Are you ready?" "READY!" "Okay…..GO!"

Dante shot at the targets using all of his most stylish moves. He even charged the energy and shot at three targets. He then at the end used rainstorm and they were impressed.

_Dante destroyed the targets, and the range._

"Whoa dude!" Said Geoff, "You've totally annihilated the targets, and that move…how? That was amazing!" "Well as you can see when he shot that charged shot, he destroyed the face of the targets." Said Armand, "He also seems to have shot from above and in every other direction. He was also very accurate while very stylish." "He shot and danced at the same time." Said Max.

_But team Kratos is not impressed._ "What the…" Said Kratos as he picked up a bullet, "The f$%#? This…This is supposed to kill me? This tiny little thing? This is what modern warriors use? This is what it has come to? THIS IS PATHETIC! I remember when warriors charged into battle unafraid of the enemy with sword in hand, engaging in brutal combat! There was a time when warriors fought with honor, now warriors fight with cowardice using little pebbles to kill. This wouldn't kill me! It'd just annoy me! The f#$% ? This is some bulls$#^!" "Well these little pebbles put your type of warrior out of business." Said Dante, "What do you got? Some outdated ancient wonder?" "Oh don't worry, I have weapon that is sure to show the true meaning of ancient wonder."

"So what have we got here Kratos?" Said Max. "This is Bow of Apollo, a fiery bow of death meant do deliver death in a quick moment. This bow has normal fire, rapid fire, and charged fire. Its range is phenomenal and it's power even more. It also doesn't run on ammunition, but magic." "Well let's see."

"Okay Kratos we've got different ranges with pig carcasses." Said Geoff, "You're gonna shoot at each of them from different ranges using the different modes of uses. So ya ready?" "A Spartan is always ready!"

"Three! Two! One! GO!" Kratos shot at the first target normally, and then he shot the farther target with a charge shot, and the farthest target with rapid fire. _ He killed them all in fewer than fifty seconds._ "Okay this shouldn't be hard to see." Said Armand, "Well it appears that Kratos hit dead center on the first target, and well…on the second target he hit it and burned it, the wood around is scorched and the pig itself is cooked. And the farthest…..has about twelve arrows in it, that's a lot even for a rapid fire bow. You can see that there are lots of injuries, too many to count. Wow!"

_But Dante and Lady are not impressed. _ "Just what I expected, a bow and arrow. This old weapon is outdated by my pistols. And fire…ooh wow, that hasn't been done before!" Said Dante. "Please, I have a bunch of weapons more advanced than that." Said Lady.

"I really don't know what to call this one, but I'm goin' for Dante's pistols." Said Geoff. "I don't know, they don't appear to have as much accuracy as the bow of Apollo." Said Max. "Yeah, that may be true, but Dante has the more modern, more advanced weapons, I'm gonna have to give it to the pistols." Said Armand.

_The edge goes to Dante's Ebony & Ivory!_

_Coming up: Dante and Kratos knock out with their short range weapons of death! WHO will be…the DEADLIEST WARRIOR!_

**A/N: Well, that's the second chapter. Review, and vote at my profile please, if you want one of them to win, then vote, every vote counts!**


	3. Up Close and Personal

**A/N: I HAVE RETURNED! Sorry about disappearing, but life hates us all so…yeah. We're coming closer and closer to finding out WHO IS DEADLIEST?**

_**(Deadliest Warrior insignia shows up)dun dun dun dun DUN!**_

_Kratos, Dante, if these two faced each other in battle, who would demolish the other? We are here to for the answer._

_One of Kratos' most dangerous weapons: The Nemean Cestus! Metallic terror to all who stand in his way._

"These are the Nemean Cestuses." Said Kratos. "Whoa! These are HEAVY!" Said Geoff holding them. "It takes skill and strength to even swing these, let alone accurately use them. With skill you can eviscerate entire armies!"

"They seem unwieldy." Said Max, "Tell me, do they have enough speed to get a good shot without having to sacrifice time?"

"Let's test it!" Geoff replied. They went over to pig carcasses. "Okay, we've got pig carcasses here and I'm gonna put a pressure sensors on the pigs, that way we'll be able to tell how much power those weapons have."

They set up the equipment and Geoff said, "Okay, you ready Kratos?"

"Ready!" Shouted Kratos.

"THREE, TWO, ONE, LET EM HAVE IT!"

Kratos went berserk and bashed the carcasses like a drunk, angry, blood thirsty, gorilla. He began to change up his attacks, using the chains and his other various attacks. The Cestuses were drenched in pig blood.

"DUDE! THE CARNAGE!" Shouted Geoff, "The ratings are beyond anything considered possible!"

Armand just stood there and said, "I…don't have to say anything but, total destruction."

_But Dante isn't fazed._

"Those hunks of metal are they best examples of what happens when you make a weapon for Arnold Schwarzenegger. Clunky, big and clumsy, they lack some serious speed and finesse. But most of all they lack style. Style is always important!" Said Dante with a smile.

"I fight to kill, not to show off. If it causes death to my enemies, I'll use it, regardless of any lack of dancing or flamboyance." Kratos replied, "A warrior is a fighter, not a dancer."

"I see you're the life of every party."

"Okay guys" Said Max, "We aren't done yet, Dante still has yet to show us his weapon."

_Dante's short range tool is known as: Beowulf, gauntlets and greaves that harness light for deadly power!_

"The gauntlets and grieves that I am wearing are known as Beowulf. They are harnessed with light adding to the already great power." Said Dante.

"We're gonna have you punch this punching bag with a pressure sensor in it. Give one, unharnessed punch."

Dante did so and Geoff said, "Great one! Now punch with the harnessed power of light." Dante punch using such power, hit the bag hard. "Whoa dude, that was cool! The readings went way up!" "If you think that that's all, wait'll ya see what else these can do dude!"

They went outside where there were multiple dummies. "Okay, these targets are there for you to unleash hell upon. I want what I didn't already see, you ready?"

"Always!" Dante charged, and then shot a blast of concentrated light at the targets. He then jumped and came down spreading energy upon the ground. He round house kicked and rose with a triple rising fist. Everyone but Kratos was stunned.

"Light? How poetic of you. You're using the power of light to defeat your enemies. That's so Final Fantasy." Said Kratos mockingly.

"You laugh now, but these came from Beowulf the Light Beast. These came from death."

"So did mine….they were from Herculese….my BROTHER!"

"Oh….sorry dude."

"I don't care for such things anyways…."

"…..brother….Vergil….."

"…?"

"….Devil…May …..Cry…"

"You…fought your brother…too?"

"Yeah….."

"Hm…."

"Do we give our edge?" Wispered Max to Armand.

"Might as well." Armand replied, "I think that the cestuses, while deadly, were clumsy in comparison to the versatility and functionality of the Beowulf."

"I got say, the cestuses were ferocious." Said Geoff, "But you're right, when compared to the power and versatility of the Beowulf, they just don't measure up."

"Edge: Beowulf!" Said Max

_The edge goes to Dante's Beowulf!_

Kratos and Dante were still just standing there, almost completely silent, both thinking of their losses in their warpath. The spoils of war cannot cover up the losses of war.

"….Mother…..Vergil…."

"My wife…..Calliope, my…..daughter..."

_Well…uuuuuuuhhhh. Y'know, we'll just, jump to commercial. Dante, Kratos, both warriors, but only ONE is the DEADLIEST!_

_**A/N: Sorry for it being so late. I hope you loved it. Now we see that Kratos and Dante have more in common than battle…..thanks for reading and please….vote….the ending is on you, as I said, review if too please. **_


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